“I want a marriage more beautiful than my wedding.”
I’ve always loved this quote.
As a wedding photographer, I believe in the essence of this saying, in the true meaning behind all the glitz & glam of this industry I love to call my office.
As a bride, it took on an important reminder role during those sneaky panic moments of planning & the Pinterest-ing frenzy that can come with the process.
As a wife of 365 days, I’ve found that these words have taken on so much more meaning.
Yup, it’s been 365 days since I said yes to the start of my very own adventure as a Mrs..and quite an adventure this first year has been! I’m pretty sure that people like my grandparents, who have been married for over 50 years this year will have a chuckle at “everything I’ve learnt,” and would probably quickly tell me that I have about a million and two things still to learn on this journey. They couldn’t be more right!
At the moment in Canada, things are in full fall glory (well, apparently it’s almost over but to us two pumpkin-picking, halloween-mad, touristy-locals it’s still absolute novelty and we are lapping it up like crazy). It’s actually beyond beautiful! And it’s the first time I’ve lived anywhere that has four very, very distinct seasons. Tonight, after a weekend of anniversary celebrations and surprises, I’m curled on the couch, wearing flannel PJs, being all things we have started to affectionately call HASHTAGmarried! I’m feeling (probably) far too sentimental about all things “our wedding” and this last year that I’ve spent as a wife. So here goes, I’m going to share some of my thoughts on our first year married and it’s “seasons” since our wedding day.
SPRING
365 days ago it was our spring. I love spring! “THE” wedding day is always Spring, no matter the weather. Really it is. It’s the chance for all that planning to blossom into the day two people join together to take on the world. There isn’t much I love more than a wedding day. And my goodness did I love ours. Being “in the industry” I felt a lot of (unnecessary) pressure, had very high expectations (every single one of which was met and more) and I generally just “worried” that spring wouldn’t…well, spring. It did. It always, always does. And it will always continue to. Weddings are just like that!
It had rained for 5 straight weekends leading up to our wedding. I hadn’t taken my very own advice I give every.single.bride and had NO back up plan for our outdoor ceremony. I still have the happiest heart just thinking about the moment I looked out the window that morning to the most beautiful, crystal clear day. I blinked my eyes a couple of times, mostly in disbelief that the raging winds that had allowed me only 2 hours of sleep had completely left us. Our spring was waiting. I hot bubble bathed (complete with cucumbers on my puffy eyes), I jumped on the bed with my sister, I married the love of my life, danced the night away with my very best friends and have the most beautiful photos & wedding video to preserve this particular spring forever.
Marriage has springs. The new, the momentous and the occasional. The new sprouts, testing their space with the old. Everything changing, while a lot stays the same as it always was. Marriage has a lot of springs I think. I don’t mind, I love spring.
WINTER
I know, normally summer follows a spring. But for me, after the spring of our wedding day came the winter. In the very real (& completely normal so I’ve heard) reality that is “the wedding downer.” The confirmation that the wedding day is indeed a once in a lifetime occasion (with each and every one being completely unique in themselves). That photographs (no matter how absolutely exquisite and happy they make you) can’t bring the day back to life, they can only remind you. That life carries on pretty much very normally after the day. That a new normal needs to be settled into, planned for, processed. That our new normal was anything but…it was packing tape and plane tickets and pretty much no set plan apart from my husband’s adamant belief that “it’s going to be ok.” I’m not as easily convinced.
For us, winter also came next in a very very very real, Canadian winter kind of way. Our new normal was icy winds and slippery ice and across the globe from our old normal. It was salty tears and a couple of slammed doors (sorry husband!). It was darker days and longer nights and the intense feeling that we should indeed be hibernating. It took a lot of reminding each other, but winter was also what we had decided together it should be. Adventure. And lots of fluffy snow. Together. At least we were here together.
Marriage has winters. The uncomfortable things laid out on thin ice. The vulnerable that make hibernation really appealing. Being in the cold together. Choosing to skate hand in hand. Facing head-first down a snowy mountain and figuring out what each other needs to reach the bottom. Slow days and time for hot chocolate-fueled cuddles. I’m glad marriage has winters.
SUMMMMMMER
Naturally, we had an actual spring after the winter passed. But it was so warm and so glorious and so “un-snowy” after our winter that I may have considered eating a popsicle in 7 degrees while wearing a t-shirt. I mean, it may as well have been full blown summer. The first year married is a lot like that. It’s so beautifully easy to re-ignite those “spring” feelings and find ways to fuel them into summer splendor. A little sliver of sunshine warms things up, reminds us of everything we have that we just want to soak in sunshine and cover in confetti.
Marriage has summers. Being on the same relay team. Celebrating the wins with milkshakes on the promenade. Hand holding and beach days and long, long, lazy Sundays. The small tokens of effort and appreciation. The kisses at midnight. The glorious knowledge that these will always be the days of your dreams. Thank goodness marriage has summers.
AUTUMN
As part of our anniversary celebrations, Andrew took me on a road trip adventure (of driving & a bit of hiking) through the Algonquin National Park (mostly in the rain!) The weather cut our planned walks a little short, which brought about a little disappointment. We hiked a rainy trail that took us through the whole range of emotions (including a little “disagreement”!!!) And ultimately, it led us to letting go of our Fall adventure idea and we headed to the nearest little town, where we discovered the cutest, cosy little pub, ate a deliciously warm lunch and where I got a little too sentimental about everything this year has been.
Marriage has Autumns. The spaces, the changing, the growing. Noticing each others colours, in their own vibrant, glorious shades and celebrating them. Reflecting on the springs and summers and winters past and still coming. Being ok with letting go of ideas and expectations. Having the courage to believe in the new that will inevitably come of this season. Beautiful, cosy, eye-opening Autumns, I’m so happy marriage has you.
SPRING. WINTER.SUMMER.SPRING.AUTUMN.WINTER.SUMMER.SPRING.SPRING.SPRING.WINTER.SUMMER. OVER. AND. OVER
(The first year of) Marriage has all seasons (this is what I know).
Springs that allow us the space to be unapologetically ourselves, in every new sprouted direction we choose.
Summers make for fun, and time to say thank you thank you thank you, for the big things but most importantly for the small.
Winters slow us down so we remember not to sweat the small stuff. People matter, stuff doesn’t.
Autumns show up so vibrant and beautiful that we stop right in our paths and celebrate each other out loud, in every and all ways.
Marriage has seasons.
I’m listening. Learning from them all. Letting it be.
Wanting (wishing & hoping) it to be beautiful for the next 100 years (give or take)
xxx
